My attitudes changed.
I now know why everything bad happens to me.
Because much better things only take place after.

I have a job I feel great about by losing the job for which I worked hard.
I have a freaking bad ass car now by losing the one that I needed so many times.
I have the girl of my dreams by losing the parts of me I just didnt want to let go, and now…

We’re finally on top.

Currently it requires a lot of work before I can be happy.

Straightening it out now.

Something in my life starts going awesome, and immediately something else goes wrong. 
It’s a vicious cycle.

But.
At least this time, I have everything I need.
I have the love I dont deserve. A gold that I didn’t earn.
There’s that fire within me that burns bright, but doesn’t hurt.  

This is me moving up.
And I’m above this everyday crap.  

I cant wait til I see Dez… I know that she’s gonna heal me. she’s the only one with that power, even if she just has to use her eyes to tell me everything I already know but need to hear. I need her to make me feel like nothing else matters but her.

I miss her.